Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in my kitchen in London with Clint Edwards, and Bennett Arron drops in.

... I've got my trousers rolled up today. / Oh, I could just see ... yeah, you've got __ ... all I can see is your bare feet and bare bottom of your legs __ __ __ __ / Well, Yeah. You can see quite a lot of bare leg__ because my trousers are rolled up. And do you know why my jeans are rolled up? I'll give you three guesses. ... Let's play jeans-rolled-up quiz. ... It's early in the day. / Can we all play this? / Play along at home. ... Oh, let's ... yeah, let's turn into ... actually __ __ turn __ into a feature. ... Here we go. Let's turn it into a feature / I was gonna tell ... I was gonna make you guess and tell you ... during this __ ... Actually, no. 8 10 12 / on __ text. ... Why have I got my jeans rolled up? / And they are. They are half way up your ... / They're half way up my legs ... shin ... my shins ... my jeans are rolled up. I don't normally wear them rolled up. ... You can tweet @rhodgilbertshow. You can ... I'll tell you what. Why don't you tweet a picture, in a minute, of, uh ... I mean ... / I will. __ __ ... / tweet ... tweet of ... Anybody who's just joining the show, who's never ... you know ... an alien or something, would just go, "God, is this ... is this what life is like / Is this what radio shows are like? / people __ __ / In fact, the answer is YES, to be honest. This is the kind of thing / I did ... uh ... __ Richard Bacon, you know, a wonderful broadcaster, very skilled, talented man __ __ __ show a few years ago / tweeted __ __ picture of his knee. ... I didn't even know why. ... So, there we go, __ __ __ __ years later, / why / shouldn't / tweet the picture / my rolled-up jeans / We are going down, aren't we? / tweet / @rhodgilbertshow / "Why have I got my jeans rolled up?" quiz today. That's the quiz. I've also got ... I've also got one of the best quizzes I've ever had. / ... Oh yeah? / ... for you. / Oh yeah? For me? / Yeah. For you. And I'll do __ __ B__ A__ ... and / 12-year-old kid. / Ohgg. The 12-year-olds __ __ wipe / floor with us / No, he's not. / All right. / Do you wanna head-start on it? / yes / if / This is __ __ quiz. ... There are two quizzes today / just between us? / Just between us. It's two quizzes. One is "Why have I got my jeans rolled-up" quiz ... which I'm calling that .... just jot it down ... "Why have I got my jeans rolled up?" quizz / just jot it down / in case you forget that / I'm writing it down. Uh ... __, listen, in ten minutes time, we could have 40 quizzes on the go. ... That's the problem, innit? / __ __ __ day / Well, the other one is Eerie Noise Quiz, and it applies to this weekend only. ... Eerie Noise Quiz. ... What noise this weekend, white ... might you hear ... that is ... that is eerie? And you'll only hear __ this weekend. Don't look it up. Don't Google it. You've just got, uh ... / 27th of June? / 27th of June. This weekend / an eerie noise will occur. What is that?" quiz.

I've got texts and emails and stuff here. Let's have a look. What's this? Uh ... Look ... look at this. This is a weird one. Look at this. Look at ... look at the length of that email, eh? ... / Huh. It's an ess__y. / It's an ess__y from R__ / Northern Ireland. ... Do you want me to read it? / Not all of it. / Should I read it all? This / kinda thing / Pick four random sentences __ __ see if we can ... if we get the gist / really / I'll tell you what. I / one from the top / yeah. t__ ... yeah. / one from the bottom / yeah / ... yeah / one from the bottom / well, the ... eh ... / the top is hello stuff. ... Generic hello stuff. / Skip that. We all know that. / All right. In the bottom / generic good-bye stuff. Let's take ... let's take / two from the middle, right? / kind / This is from __ in __ __ __ Northern Ireland. One random sentence, taken ... I'm not ... I'm gonna look down / at you / yeah / just / don't pick / look down / just so I / pick / boring sentence / sharp ... sharply / I was / first sentence I c__ across / first __ __ ... " ... So, I pointed out the manual on the server, and Trevor went down and / show __ how to change it all." ... Do you want another one? / I'd say it sounds very interesting, it is, __ __ / "The first thing I noticed, the top of the printer wasn't closed right. It was clearly ... " and / in capital letters / "... sitting up 15 m__s on one side. / 15 m__s ... / ... I have to admit, I am quite interested. / Yeah. / "... I opened it up, and there was a little blue lever that had to be pushed round to __ ... to lock the toner cartridge in place / says / Thanks for getting in touch, R__. / be possibly good / I flipped the lever / I blew out the toner dust ... __ __ wiped a little strip and closed the lid." ... Thanks, R__. / So, what __ __ __ __ that / R__ ... R__ __ change __ __ c__ / and Trevor __ __ __ __ / I think, in his defense, before __ __ __ __ __ that wasn't fair. You didn't put that in context. I did ... that was a bit unfair / he was having a __ ... uh ... he was having a __ about people in the, uh, office section of, uh, / where he works / who didn't know how to change __ toner c__ or something / so, it's right in the office / right in the office / people can't change ... / now __ give it more / I'm taking this to the radio / I'm taking it straight to the Rhod Gilbert show / he was right / he was absolutely right. ... Lots of people wouldn't even __ __ give it that much time, __,

Hang on a minute, ladies and gentlemen, __ I'm talking uh, Clint Edwards / trying to take a picture of my, uh ... my rolled up / my trousers so that we can put __ on twitter / because / today / why / my-jeans-rolled-up quiz / the dog is in the way. ... Can you get __ __ dog in? / Here we are. / OK. ... So, we've got the picture there / if you're that bored. ... Yeah, there we are. So, / two things / we've got / dog / dog is lying / my feet, which / do __ radio show / __ there any other radio show / just a lying __ the presenter's feet / I've got my jeans rolled up. But why? Second quiz is Eerie White Noise. Why might you hear an eerie white noise this weekend only? ... Don't look it up. Don't google it ... others are available ... Don't do that. You've gotta guess. Why would you hear an eerie / noise / something out. Or did I do it deliberately? / おっと。口がすべった。white noise って言っちまったよ。 / No. / but it's quite ... it does tempt you a little bit. It's quite a tickler / eerie noise quiz. That's what it's called. Eerie Noise Quiz / "white noise" is a clue. / Is it the humming __ __ in G__? / "White noise" is a clue, and yet / これはヒントだが、ひっかけのエサでもある。 / Is it / yet / also a red herring / as in the term "white noise" / that's not what it is / not that kind of white noise. ... The thing that makes noise is white. That's different. __ __ __ __ agree / Right. / is it / sl__ter / to the Moomins? / it's not the / it's something more mundane. / OK. / Oh. / Oh, saved by the bell / hang on a second / That's / door bell. That's the door bell. That means that's B__ A__ coming in / show / not yet kicked off / point / me / any second now. He's gonna come in / she / here we go. Here ... / big / not a big / not ... not very demonstrative / like you, Bennett Arron / I don't think / despite the fact that / thank you very much for bringing those. Anyway, / come on to B__ A__ / I wasn't sure __ __ __ __ I didn't bring him / You weren't sure, so you didn't bring him? / I ... I wasn't sure if / ettiq__t / I text__ you / I said it was fine / oh, wait a minute. ... I forgot / so, where is he? / tube or something? / Brilliant. / Bennett / in a moment. But / those coming / rolled up?" quiz / very excit__. And, uh ... Eerie ... Eerie White Noise Quiz. This weekend / what __ what is all that about?

The answers are flooding in on "Why am I / rolled up?" Quiz. / is it a washing machine flood?" No / "Are your jeans too short for you?" __ in C__. Oh, come on, __, come on. Why would I / eh / serious entry / here in this quiz / about. "You must be having your feet eaten by fish / says / I'm afraid not, D__ / "Are you getting beach-ready with hair-removal cream on your legs?" from D__ in Swansea. No, I'm not, D__. ... "Did you miss the toilet?", says W__ in Cardiff / how badly / miss / roll your jeans up / W__, get a grip. ... "Is there a leaking in your kitchen?" ... No. "Are you pretending to be in G__y?" / have you forgotten to put your belt on / good one / quite like that / have you forgotten to put your belt on? / __ is quite a good one / belt on, I simply roll my trousers up. ... Save ... It's like / save money on belts by rolling your trousers up / "Have you lost your hi-heels?" / I like the idea of it, but no, Amanda. Um ... I'll tell you / music / I'm gonna come back and talk to, uh, a Jewish-Welsh comedian / Jew-Welsh / about his show / straight after this one.

Bennett Arron is here. / Yaaaay / God, look at that / kind of / enthusiasm you get on, uh, Radio Wales. Now then / start / 12-year-old son / no idea why / look forward / dog / why not have a kid? / 犬も出演を許されているんだ。子供だって出られる。 / Yeah, I was going to / I wasn't sure if I should or could. So, instead, he / shopping with my wife / delighted about / he's not like your wife? / Uh, he doesn't like it / none of us do / he / my wife / when she goes shopping / my wife does / that drives me insane / shopping together / comic shops and then we'll meet up a hour later / go with you / call them / comic-y? Comic-er? / comic book fans / You are a comic book fan? / yeah / like / more stacked up / oh my god / I did have / one of the biggest c__s ever / whatever you do, don't / away / how old are you? / matter / at this point / might think / boy / I had a big stack of comics, but my mom / go on / how old are you, B__? / doesn't matter / he's about 40 / year old / ladies and gentlemen / and yet ... yet his mother'__ thrown out his comic book / can I just tell you ... can I just tell you / would be worth now / 35 ... / 35 pence? / 35 thousand p ... yeah, you've gone quiet now, __ you? / suddenly I'm not so stupid / first edition / like / spiderman / yeah / shut up, Rhod Gilbert. ... Yeah / OK, I'm not staying / yes / so, quite genuinely, your mother / worth of comics? / That's what / did / annoyed / if I / I said, "Don't throw these out / if / grands / don't throw out / not / pounds / back / box. I mean, at the time / because / comic / huge / this is / your mom threw out / 35 grand-worth of comic / Did you go, "__, mom ! / I was / I went / know / these things happen. It's fine. Of course I didn't. Uh, my kids / every time / she owes you / you'd think so, wouldn't you? / did you a favor / I would sue her / did you a favour / sue my mom / sue your Jewish mom / backside / Really? / Yeah. / All right. / I'll ... um ... I'll think about this. I'll let you know / solicitor / listening / definitely / solicitors listening / to this rubbish / I was coming __ __ I'm really sad, thinking about it / What else / your mom / feature / what / what / what have your parents thrown out? / just / go, "Mom ! " / "Mom !" / "Mom !" / what have your parents thrown out? / reckon / exactly / parents / my parents __ literally cleared all memories of me from the house ... literally wiped / white-washed it ... absolutely / can / again / did / took everything / my room / __ went, "Mom ! / you can't ... you can't keep / room / your parents' house / what's funny is / did / my grandfather / like / carpenter / handy-man / years ago, he made / little / sign on my door / my room / Right. / they kept / on the front / but / white-washed it / literally / every possible way apart from my name on the front. It ... it looks like a prison cell / name / maybe / what have your parents thrown out? ... Other features on the go today, ladies and gentlemen / on the go today, ladies and gentlemen / rolled up?" quiz / want / get / jeans / rolled / no, I haven't forgotten my belt / That's my only guess. / We've got some more / let's have a look / reason / of course there is a reason / throw out a quiz / no solid ending. / All right. / I'll talk to you / the show / Jew-Welsh / one o'clock today / That's one o'clock today. Uh ... and it's / uh / next Saturday / same time / series / how many / two parts / half an hour-long or hour-long? / long / recorded them, uh, in Cardiff / a couple of weeks ago? / Yeah, yeah. / I thought / bag for a while / out / in August, but they love__ it so much, Rhod, / they / put it forward / back / this August / August / presumably / forgot / last August. / ... August 1985 / I presumed __ just half-an-hour gap / Radio Wales / just went quiet / nobody noticed, no complaint__ ... / last August / nothing for half an hour / best radio they've done / please / if this is a series, why only two parts? / ２部しかないのにシリーズって言うかよ / silence / going / this August / so ... so in demand / so in demand they / no, no / you're not listening. They love__ it so much. ... Uh, ... / yes / going / going / today / based on / my standup show / about / your mother / thought / I never / about that / too painful / you should / that's the thing / gotta be some / 残念な出来事だが、それをネタにしたらいいじゃないか / funny, Rhod / not yet / It still hurts. / 無理だな。まだ心の傷が癒えてないんだ。 / so / show is about your being Jewish and Welsh / about that / sketches in it, with, uh, / with / I know / both, yeah / terrific, innit? / writer / you did, didn't you? / name / yeah / can you remember a sketch / wrote / I remember / Younger listners, just hang in there. / 若いリスナーは我慢して聴いててね / Uh ... uh ... / it was a Star Trek s__ / yeah / bridge / Enterprise / do / remember / hilarious / you can probably imagine / Um ... I did that, and / remember / sketch / used to write / management / yeah / one of the sketches that I wrote / found / years later / nominated / top hundred sketches of all time ever, apparently / it was / they were, like / in a ... in a jungle and going / any minute / able to / anyway / turns out / it was a microwave / I can't remember the set up / hilarious at the time / It was long time ago. I was young and innocent. / Wow. / Yeah. / so, um, yes / management / your idea / or did they / if / yeah, of course / way / works / be lying / other way / yes / I mean, it was your idea / I / lot of trouble / we don't / the same day / broadcast first / Radio Wales / people / this programme, but / it wasn't my idea. / ... Sorry / slightly distracted by / dog / licking my heel / dog

right / got that right / jeans rolled up. Why? That's the quiz / that's the feature / trending. / we / "What Eerie White Noise?" Quiz / anybody / weekend / this weekend, you might hear an eerie white noise / sure / mating / moomins / can I ask you about your trousers / This is, uh, / are bringing / fashion / I like the idea of / trouser cuff / certainly / rolled up / this is not __ s__ choice in that sense. / And, uh, Dave Overall / Dave Overall is back. Do you remember / oh, listen ... listen, mate / quiz / on this show. ... not that it's anything to write home about / I think / chosen / heavily / things like that. And, uh, yeah, we __ __ quite a lot of detail / enormous big toe? / No. / enormous big toe / seen the picture / Uh, No. None of / are right. / presenter / that's you / ages ago / heavily-edited / playlist / retain some listeners, following the scandal __ last week / allowed a ha / Rhod-o-vision / again / ahead of Iron M__, despite / the latter. / my wife / weeks pregnant / this is a while ago / may / so, please would you wish / baby / met / seven years ago / a man to quit his job / s__ __." ... No, I didn't. ... If I did, then where are you now? / seven / I don't remember. It was seven years ago. It / I can't even remember yesterday. You know how bad my memory is / 昨日のことさえ覚えていないんだ。７年前のことなんか覚えてるわけないだろ。 / this guy / man / quit / if you are that person, / please get in touch / quit / jobs before / have I? / increase / did I? / what else have we got here? Uh ... "Have you got / says / another loser / No, I haven't / Rhod, are your jeans / because / holes / convenient place to store / important items / such as / potatos / says / still nobody's got it right.

Quizzes on the show today: "Why have I got my jeans rolled up?" Quiz / kicked off / Eerie Noise Quiz / Do you want some clues? / eerie / second / the first one is / guess / already / I / sounds / could be it / know / only I know / at the moment / eerie / you can hear an eerie white noise / very carefully / but what is it? / Google / don't hotmail it / tweeted / saying / moon-singing phenomenon / as it has / Earth quakes and vibrates / moon / eerie white noise I'm talking about, the moon-singing phenomenon / as / Earth quakes and vibrates / it is not that / it's not that / tweet the show @rhodgilbertshow / can / what is the eerie / have a guess. Why not? / let me / bacause ... right? ... it's because / a sudden rise in night temperatures after the coldest June since 1991 ... something / gonna be a menacing / slightly threatening eerie noise because of that / Eric / by the production / we are in __ kitchen in London / message / my headphone / he's got it right / looked it up, to be honest / so, let's discount him / because, frankly, you / unless you / looked it up / pointless / to be honest, the whole quiz is pointless, really, 'cause / never know / it up or not / so, let's just forget the whole quiz. / sort of / yeah / looks like it works, but it doesn't, actually. / Uh ... I'm just trying to / give / little clues / because / yes / something hasn't happened for such a long time / gonna be / to do ... I'll tell you this ... I'll tell you this / to do with farming / countryside / more likely to hear it. Farmers are more likely to be aware of it / screaming of the lambs / it's not that eerie / chuckling of the lambs / uh, it's not that eerie / nothing like that / this is, uh ... a nice thing ... in a way / thing / is an odd quiz / get it right / obviously / cheated / so, there / are / farmer / believe / know / If ... if you can / picture of yourself / proving that you are a farmer / or close enough / right answer / I will accept it / quite a limited quiz / one is / only really for farmers. / The other one / everyone can play, which is, "Why/ rolled up / accssible

White Noise Quiz / you remember / earlier / right / what is the eerie white noise you can hear in the countryside this weekend? / Eric Thomas wrote in, and he's got it right / but I said, "There's no way / without looking it up / so, I accused him / now / for cheating / yeah / yeah / I won't accept / and I will not hesitate to put him in touch with you / but then Eric has come back / he says, "I did not look it up. I heard / radio / You stand up for yourself / You stand up for yourself / all right / Eric / accept / got it right / find / about it? E__ / 君はどこで知ったの？ / given / I read it. ... / I read it in __ ... Anyway / I'm setting / have to make / if / obviously I looked it up. / yeah, yeah. __, anyone / read it in the paper yesterday / and they / paper / I will accept __ happily / I've got it / assume / cheated / what I / actually / A: / B: I / take part. ... "Did you buy jeans / too long / instead of getting them shortened, you have rolled them up / guess / good effort. But / right / yes, you heard it right. That is the quiz today / tweeted in twice / her first one says / jeans are rolled up / because you can't be bothered to roll them" / second tweet / "down" / yeah / you / do you know what I fancy today? / do / I just really ... oh, hang on / something / give her a second / out of your system / one more __ ... one for the road ... good girl. ... OK. ... Now, ... sorry about this, ladies and gents. This ... this is normal / ladies and gentlemen / Clint and / Um ... do you think / fancy / trouser leg / up / down / that's / what / Saturday / straight back down / rolled them up / couldn't be bothered / finish off the game / my life / realize / the most pointless activities I've ever suggested to myself / gave up. ... No, it's not that / have you / making / with corned beef / some weird W__ custom / __ beef / it's not that. I know what you're talking about / on Radio Wales yesterday / I was growing up / m__shed up / tomato soup / s__ / never met anyone in the world / who knows anyone / s__ B__ like that / Radio Wales / week / yesterday I / interview / do the same thing. ... So, I don't know whether it's a weird Carmarthen thing / think / recipes / do not know / even knew / how / a tin of __ beef and a tin of tomato soup / it / 70 / life __ like.

now then / like to read out / my mom / losing, uh, all those comics / pounds / mom / moved / Chris in Cardiff / she left in the attic two bean bags full of original metal Star Wars figures / bean bags / left / two bean bags full of / figures and space ships / original figures / probably worth many thousands of pounds / in / ... Yeah? / check your attics to see if they're still there / end / a little optimistic, Chris. / if you are in __ / and you bought a house / attic yet / check / full of metal fugures / thousands of pounds / and then return them, please / take / police station in Cardiff / well, let us know / how exciting / reunite that person / who knows? / usually / Um ... now then, I'll tell you what ... / remember where / lived / ちょっと待て。自分が以前住んでいた家がどこにあるか忘れたのか？ / good point / why don't you give us the address / the white noise quiz / but just let you know / Eerie White Noise Quiz / two people / trust / either / No. / OK. / It is cauliflowers having / white / What? / white / gonna grow / little white bits / rub against each other / eerie / countryside / quiz / we had a s__ge leak / garden / went / show / didn't have time / rolled / just / to avoid getting / kitchen / Simple as that, ladies and gentlemen.

why / rhod / live on Saturday mornings, BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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